My baby is 6!

by Coco on October 2, 2013

Well, 6 has quickly come.  I can’t believe it.  I have an 8 and 6 year old.

Yowzers!

Tessie Mayes is a dream come true.  She is the sweetest, smartest, most funny, goofy little girl I know.

She is also very whiney. 

Because I let her.

I seriously carry her to a warm shower every morning. 

Not kidding.

She clings to you like a spider monkey and is still super light.

So I’m doing it for as long as I can.

I had to quit carrying Bram around at 3.  He is dead weight. 

Anyhoo, Kindergarten is going splendidly.  She is kind of a kiss ass, so she is always on “purple” with a trip to the treasure box.

Reading on a 4th grade level.

Loving her sweet teacher.

Loving playing board games. 

Loving dance and cheer.

She’s our girl and she’s the BEST!

Happy 6th birthday, Tessie Mayes!!!!!

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Mother’s Day 2013

by Coco on May 13, 2013

Mother’s Day was a hoot.  Lunch in Austin where I had two margaritas and got tipsy.

Because I am a functioning alcoholic, 2 margaritas usually don’t do a thing for me.

Well let me tell ya now.  That was not the case here.

I was tipsy.

THEN, Hubs took the kids to a little carnival thing in town and I sat on my back porch reading and drinking wine.

I chatted with my mom. 

Did some texting.

Then realized I was drunk.

By myself.

That isn’t super classy at all.

Luckily, when Hubs got home, he saw what kind of situation I had gotten myself into and kept the kids away from me. 

He awesomely fed them and bathed them and did the bedtime routine while I watched funny stuff on YouTube. 

Like I watched several “Top 10 Real Housewives of Atlanta fights”  and the “Best of Nene Leakes.”

And then I passed out.

And woke up feeling dynamite.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Funny kids.

May 2, 2013

Kids are funny.  My kids are the most funny.  Or so I think.

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Panic. Attack. of America.

March 25, 2013

No.  I wasn’t panicked about the black eye my beautiful boy now sports. I was panicked because I couldn’t find my BLOG!!!!!  I spent forever trying to figure out why it was gone.  I had paid whomever needed to be paid and no blog. Years of blogging gone.   This is my kids babybook.  I have […]

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Dirty pig sloth hoarders.

January 23, 2013

Well, the purging is over.  And I am freaking humiliated by the amount of shit we somehow accumulated in a 2,100 sq foot house.  In 7 years. For real y’all, I thought I was somewhat tidy.  I am not. I am a loser that is dirty and I need to be on the show Hoarders. The […]

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New Year.

January 18, 2013

I Iknow that no one reads this blog anymore and I’m totally cool with that.  But I am sersiously going to be back in full force for 2013. This is for my kids really.  The reason I started a blog.  To put into book form for them to have the memories of their awesome childhood. […]

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Sad.

July 26, 2012

How could she cheat on him? I feel I must leave my family and go console him.  He needs me.

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Nothing says, “I’m young and free and in Miami!” like some culottes, a concho belt and a snazzy patchwork blazer

June 20, 2012

This is proof of four things: 1) I went through my ugly phase at 21.  Not 13 like most of the world.  At 21. 2) Lubbock, Texas (where I attended college) is clearly not the fashion capital of America.  Or even Texas.  3) The Meg Ryan shag was not my look. 4) The whole “fat free” […]

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The devil.

June 12, 2012

Tessie Mayes has turned into Satan. For real. She’s either acting like the devil or climbing all over me. I swear to you, if she could crawl right back up my vagina she would totally do it. Shoes, hair, teeth, clothes, barbies, dolls, painting, playing, swimming, sleep overs…..either it’s fun or it’s not fun, good […]

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Look at the shoes.

May 16, 2012

The end of the school year, when you REALLY have a kid in school, is super busy. Teacher appreciation week. Dance recitals. Tennis lessons. Splash day. Pre-K graduation. Relay day. Etc. And somehow, I am always roped into volunteering one way or another.  Me.  The person who usually has NO problem telling somebody how I feel […]

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